9/13/2016 10:22pm

My chest hurts. I feel a pain in my lower left rib cage area. My lower back has had enough. My heart strains and pulses off beat and it feels like a hiccup sometimes. My right foot is larger than my left and has a bunion on it that makes walking in high heels torture and I almost broke my ankle on set yesterday because in order to look like Katy Perry one must wear heels. I have clouds in my nails 'cuz i never did like drinking milk. When i run fast i start to loose my hearing and my teeth begin to ache. Sitting down hurts, Standing up for too long hurts. My hips hate driving. I dont do enough yoga. I should wake up earlier. I'm not doing enough weights. My arms are beginning to do that over 30 thing where they jiggle too much and need more toning. Im starting to see the cellulite on my legs which im sure no one else can see even if i point it out. I have these weird yellow patchs of i dont know what growing on the inside of each eye ball. Ive been losing my hair for the last couple years, cause i was too stressed and washing my hair too much so i wash my hair a lot less now. i have this weird facial hair peach fuzz that grows all over my face that im told is because of cystic ovarian syndrome which i most likely have and which causes my cystic acne which thank goodness has given me a break for the past week. when i eat out too much i get bloated, all over my body. when i dont eat out and im on my bodys preferred diet my face gets nice an leaned out and chiseled and its a bit more striking im told. i dislocated my left knee in highschool and its affected the growth in my leg i believe. because now my right leg is tad bit longer than my left so i have a bit of an uneven standing position which has made a few of my left leg calf muscles noticably larger than my right. i keep forgetting things, like taking my vitamins everyday and remembering my birth control and drinking enough water and drinking less caffeine and slowing down and relishing in the beauty of the day. running helps calm all of this. but it exists none the less and it needs to be let out and here i am letting you see all the randomness that comes out of my brain when i let it run its thoughts out loud. none of them matter, but they want out. so that they can be calmed so that they can move on and not stay in rotation. so that i dont have to pay any more attention to them then is necessary. because this is a human brain and i can let it not ruin my life any more. because perfection is a word, not a reality. and im overcoming some of this one blog post at a time.